“Our shadow parts”

As counsellors we are encouraged to always work proactively on ourselves to broaden our understanding and knowledge. The more we learn about ourselves improves our capacity to meet clients where they are at and understand the dynamics that can play out in sessions. I am no expert, I am not perfect however, I welcome the chance to be a traveller in a therapeutic space to safely explore you. You are the expert in your life.

I believe there are many parts to ourselves. We play many parts in our lives, many roles we undertake and we are not always the same version in each interaction or relationship. As a mum, I play that role, however, I am not a mum when it comes to being a friend, a daughter, a partner, a granddaughter or an employee. I feel we kind of pick what we let out and when we let it out. Underlying all that, is our true authentic self.

We can experience trauma in many ways throughout our lives where we may begin to hide our authentic self. Trauma can leave wounds. They can be triggered in any interaction. We kind of learn to deny these parts and thus they become our shadows. They are forgotten, abandoned or repressed in order to “fit in” with society and expectations of others. This is a response for our survival and to keep ourselves safe. Yet, they are there in the unconscious and they play out in unhealthy patterns or impulsive behaviours.  

Follow the strong emotions and you may find your shadows. You can overcome those toxic patterns and develop greater confidence and courage. You can build a greater and deeper love, acceptance and understanding of who you are. To be compassionate and kind in the journey is high priority.

Carl Jung first developed this ‘shadow work’.

And here I share my first journal prompt and where it led me:

“FEAR”.

Imagine yourself unafraid. No doubts, no worries, no fears. What would you do if you were unafraid?

This is actually hard to imagine. I have been in a fear state since birth, spanning decades. I remember my nanna, being around her, I did not have fear. I recall feeling free, unburdened, safe; that I could fly. I felt limitless. I felt seen and heard as my authentic self. I didn’t care about pain or hurt or what others thought. The way she loved me was empowering. I felt safe to be me. I felt nothing mattered. I felt everything and then nothing as if I didn’t exist in this material plane.

So, I play this out; that if I could feel this now, what would I do?

I would love myself for all I am and where I have been. I would let go of the judgement and criticisms. I would step inside my authentic self and allow that to shine through my life. For me, it is not the material stuff. I would be me if I was unafraid. I would allow myself to come forward knowing that she is safe and loved. I would be me. And I would trust I am exactly where I am meant to be.